Today while catching up on laundry and relaxing, I watched an Oprah show about psychics and mediums. Her central question was "Do You Believe?" I cannot honestly say that I believe one way or the other. I've been having a bit of a spiritual crisis for a few years now. With me being a scientific minded person, I find it hard to believe in God. Part of me thinks that perhaps there must have been a God that started our whole universe, but now mostly stands on the outside looking in.
Because of my Christian upbringing, I find it hard to deny God as well. Part of me fears that in not fully believing, that will damn me to hell if/when I die. But another part of me feels that a God would not want people to just blindly follow, but come to their faith through careful and thorough consideration. Faith should be a journey, I suppose. I'm just walking that line between belief and disbelief.
As for the psychic and "otherside" beliefs... hmmm... once again, I don't know. The scientific part of me says that once those electrical impulses stop passing through your body, that's it. You're gone. No other side. Life is over for you. The more spiritual side of me feels that physical life is over, the the soul continues on. That part of me believes that souls do keep watch over their loved ones.
I've had two experiences that make me feel more like "life" continues after death. The first one happened when I was in college. There was a ghost story of a young lady who had been killed in the 1970's. Supposedly, her ghost continued to look over the college kids in our dorm where she had been the head Residential Adviser at her death. One day, as I walked into my room, the radio on my clock radio began playing. I checked it, and it was set to "Off." The alarm was not set, and in fact the volume was set low, yet it was REALLY loud. A little freaked out, I went to my suitemate's room, and her boyfriend told me to go back in the room and tell Joan (the ghost) to not do that, it scared me. So feeling a little silly, I returned to my room and told her to not do that, it scares me. The radio turned off at that moment. I later found out that a more sensitive friend of mine had seen Joan's apparition in my room the previous semester. To my knowledge, Joan had not lived in the room I was in. But I often heard odd noises, like marbles dropping on linoleum floor in the room above me, but when I'd pass that room to go to a friend's place, that room had carpet. It was weird.
The other experience I've had is that there have been times when I have felt my late grandmother with me. Out of nowhere, I get thoughts, feelings that she is with me. It's weird. And comforting.
What about you...do YOU believe?